It has been almost a year since my sweet daughter informed that someone was "tickling her on her pee pee" It was in her daycare and the son of my good friend that was touching her. The first few weeks are a complete blur of emotions that you experience. Then to find out he had hurt my son also was almost more than I thought my heart was going to be able to digest. We ended up switching churches because we both couldn't attend the same church. To say my faith has been shaken is quite an understatement.
In the weeks that followed we were giving statements to detectives, CPS, and Child counselors. Everyone tries so hard to help you sort out the legal process and the mental trials your child is going to go through. No one can prepare you for how this is going to affect so many areas of your life. the security your child feels is gone after being violated like this. They are scared to go out in public for fear that they may see this person. They sleep with the lights on every night so when they wake up with the nightmares they can make sure HE is not there. Weekly counseling appointments to help them digest all the feelings that they are going through. Sitting in those sessions watching your child deal with post traumatic stress disorder and curling up on the floor crying is more than any mother should have to endure.
The legal process is overwhelming and stressful as you attend all the hearings and just seeing this person again the emotional exhaustion you feel is indescribable.
So we thought we were at the end of the legal process. We were all prepared to go to court hear the sentencing and put this portion of the night mare behind us but that is not how it all worked out. As we were driving to drop the kids off, the clouds had rolled in and the sun was just poking through, I thought to myself how fitting, we are going to end this portion of the clouds and our family is ready for some sunshine. As we get to the juvenile court house my stomach is in knots, my head is pounding and I just want to get through the next hour. We walk through the metal detectors and of course I set them off, my buckle on my shoe. We get through and I squeeze my husbands hand for dear life. Walking into the court room I start scanning the room for my "friend" they are not in there yet. Our legal advocate says we are all good to go, no surprises. Not 2 minutes later the surprise came, They are not sentencing today they are just pleading guilty.
I thought hearing him say guilty would bring relief of some sort. I was overwhelmed with emotion and the tears just began to fall. I could feel myself losing control. The judge looks at me and I can't stop the hot tears pouring from my eyes. The Judge explains all the legal portions of what it entails to plead guilty. He then reads my children's initials and birth dates and says you are saying that you did sexual molest these children, to which he replied yes, and my stomach flipped. It is hard hearing your child tell you what happened to them but to hear the person who hurt them say yes, I did all those horrible things is another story. The judge continues to talk to the PUNK and we all sit there with tears in your eyes knowing what has happened. He then does something we have never seen he asks if the victims family is present. Yes we are all the ones with tears in our eyes. He then address us. He thank us for the letters that we sent in on how this has affected our family. he holds them up and I see my son's hand written letter on yellow paper. My hearts aches knowing how hard it was for Michael to write that letter. How proud he was of himself when he finished the letter. How when he closed the letter he said "Mr. Judge please send him to jail and keep me safe" It is hard to realize he may not serve one day in jail. He will remain on house arrest and go to counseling but it just doesn't seem enough. So it is still going ..... Next court date is April 14
No comments:
Post a Comment